A New Writer On The Block

One word: Acrimony.

I decided to see the movie Acrimony today and I am really blown away. I mean seriously, this movie took a turn for the worst and was a huge wake up call for many relationships. This movie was very important and could not have been more genuine. Now I’m going to dissect this movie based on my opinions and my personal beliefs. Although its fiction, much was a reality.

In the beginning of Mel and Robert’s relationship he took advantage of her while she was weak. She was very vulnerable, her mother had just died and he made the decision to sleep with her?? I mean come on…. It doesn’t matter that she wasn’t drunk (she might as well have been), yes she consented but he ultimately preyed on her. And then as time went on they fell in love, both young, and both hurting on the inside, and both wanting to feel loved.

Then he made the decision to cheat on her after she had willing given him money
(brought him a car) and was so supportive to him. So the question I want to put out there is this: Can you cheat on someone you love? I mean I just want to know. I know we are imperfect people and I know we make mistakes; however, a mistake like this though? can it be made…. Personally I being bias, because if you cheat on someone I don’t think you love them they way you say you do. Yes, Im giving cheating the all for all value because it takes away everything brick that it takes for a relationship to be made. He crushes that poor woman and she ended up in the hospital, near death, and would never be able to have children (she ran her car into his RV). He broke her heart, he betrayed her, he lied to her, he took away her confidence, he made her feel low, I mean he did everything to this woman and it caused her much pain. Emotional pain, the mind is a powerful thing. And after all of that, he came running to her for his apology… said he’d never do it again…. said he still loved her and it was just sex… omgosh…. I can’t believe it… I don’t know you guys… I mean at this point, is it okay to forgive someone of cheating and still be with them ??? Mel accepted Robert’s apology and she still loved him. She still supported him; she was failing in college and she still supported him financially. He made promises to her that he was going to be very successful and that he was going to give her a big house, big ring, big boat, big car, and live happily ever after. But wait… what about her dreams? Did she even have any? What did she want? How could he support her if it was all about him… It just seems like from the beginning the relationship was one sided and not healthy. But love? Love right… is what most people would say… “Love Is blind”.. Ugh! I beg to differ, that wasn’t love. I don’t know what that was. They ended up getting married and he propose to her with a ring pop ring…. its not even about him not be able to afford a decent ring, but the fact that he couldn’t even get a job to at least try to buy her a nice ring??? like wow…. All the money she ever had it went to him; every dime her mother gave to her. She didn’t take care if herself, she worked two jobs to support him and his dream that seemed like it was never going to go anywhere. Mel believed she was a good woman, a good wife and “gave him everything he could ask for”, so she thought. Years had gone by (18 years to be exact). Living in the same place (her mothers house that was given to her and they ended up doing some mortgage thing and now the house was about to be foreclosed). I just don’t understand… everything become a routine for them. He was so selfish and only cared about his career used up all her money and allowed her to work two jobs and cause stress upon her life; she wasn’t happy for 18 years and he never encouraged her to be happy.. to choose happiness. And yet she never left… but why? Please don’t say love. I mean seriously, he wasn’t holding a gun to her head but why did she stay for so many years pleasing him and bringing so much misery and pain to her life doing something everyday that she hated. Yes “till death do us part”, but she wasn’t living, she was existing. And he didn’t care or make the time to see. The romance was gone, the friendship was gone, the spark was gone, the chemistry was gone, the love was never there…. or was it? I don’t know… but through the 18 years, they both stayed together.. They didn’t cheat. Mel thought Robert cheated again because of what her sisters were saying and her previous insecurities. This led to their divorce… FINALLY. Although Robert expressed he still loved her, Mel was fed up with her life and him, she finally wanted to be free and realized she could not do this any longer. The last 3 months of their marriage they barely spoke to each other and didn’t even sleep together. They were in a bad place and it was only a matter of time until that marriage could hold a bridge together.
In the courtroom, Robert asked Mel if she was sure this was what she wanted and they he still love her and how sorry he was; but she could barely look him in the eye. It was officially over after he signed the papers. Time when on and Mel tried to date another man, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Robert and every time he came into her head she became so angry. She didnt get the closure she wanted. How could she let go of her traumatic pass, she invested so much life and time into her relationship with this man and it was over. Currently in her 40s and broke, forced to move in with her negative sister, her life had taken a turn for the worse.
And then thats when Robert finally made a breakthrough in his career. He become very wealthy and financially stable. One of the first things that he did was give her a very LARGE sum of money and brought the deed to her mothers house back to her after they lost it together.
Mel was in shocked. She couldn’t believe that now after the divorce he would accomplish his dreams but all she would be left with was money and an empty house. He didn’t make the decision to be with her again I dont know for what reason, maybe he felt like she didnt love him anymore (she def did) or he felt like he didnt deserve her (this was so true). I don’t understand, but what I do know is that when Mel tried to win his love back but he was already engaged to the same woman that he cheated on her with from college (that situation almost killed her and she lost the ability to have kids) this really set on anger and psychiatric issues to another level.
Mel felt like he owed her everything, she felt like she had given up her life for him and that now there was no way she could ever be successful. You see, it was no longer about all the money he had given her, Mel wanted him to fight for her, she wanted him to give her the life he promised he’d always make for her. But we all know thats not possible. We have to be accountable and take responsibility of our own lives. Robert had fallen in love with that same woman he cheated on her with but it happed. Was that right? Should he have pushed her away and chose someone else? Robert didn’t let Mel get in the way of his happiness unlike Mel. He chose to continually chase his dream and he didn’t care who was in his way to stop him. He was determined. Mel on the other hand chose to sacrifice her entire life just to help Robert be successful. Was that his fault? Did he take advantage of her ? Yes, but was it all his fault? Mel made the mistake of not living for herself. She chose not to pursue her dreams (make her own), have goals, and voice her concerns to Robert.

I don’t know… I really wanted to side with her but I just couldn’t. You have to chose your own happiness and for 18 years she chose to support him and his dreams and never made a life for herself. She needs to be accountable and take responsibility for her actions. It wasn’t even about the money or the house she was angry and hurt and bitter because he stole the life that he had promised her for years and she never got it and had to see it go to another woman. She expected him to give her happiness but that could never happen. I don’t agree with how she acted and I’m not saying he didn’t mess up for being a lousy husband and taking advantage of this poor woman but he asked for forgiveness and gave her everything he took from her … however so much more was missing that she could never get back , which was time and that was not his fault!

It’s okay to be angry and it’s okay to never want to forget something but what needs to be done is knowing when to let it go so it doesn’t consume you and eventually destroy you…. she was so stuck on time that she forgot how to live her life in the present … so blind to see the life she had and that she could start over … but she never loved herself and she didn’t know how to live alone, constantly listening to other people but never deciding things for herself. The best move she made was getting the divorce… the worse was when she blamed him for her misery… when the past 18 years she let him do so.

At the end of the day, you are responsible for choosing your own happiness.

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